I miss my parents so much. I hate being alone. I hate not being able to let people into my life. I hate my body. I hate how still after so long he has control over me. I hate that I still love him. I hate that I have nobody. I hate not having anybody to be happy with for the holidays. I hate my roommate and how I feel I can’t even be myself in my own room in fear i’ll be heard. I hate that I haven’t been able to sing in months. I miss music so much. I miss playing the guitar. I hate school. I hate how fucking lazy I am. I hate how I’m gonna fuck up my life because I don’t care about shit. I hate my disgusting need for sugar. I hate how messy I am. I hate how I don’t have a place to call my own. I hate how no one ever gives me a second thought or look. I hate always pretending to be optimistic. I hate how no one understands me. I hate the fake fucking people at school and work. I hate pretty much everything right now.

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